Born This Way sounds like Express Yourself.

And Vogue. And Deeper and Deeper. I'm clearly not the only one who noticed. Whatever. Born This Way is perfectly acceptable cardio/pot throwing music.

Posted via email from HELLywood

I've been doodling on my iPhone

When I'm not wasting time playing that damn Angry Birds game, I like to doodle with the Brushes app. Usually, I doodle genitals of varying shapes and sizes then email them to friends and family. If I get enough requests I will post those, but until then here are some famous people.

"Madonna Plays Jazz Flute"

"Lady Gaga Eats Grilled Cheese"

"Morrissey Sips Mineral Water with a Fuchsia Straw"

"Nicki Minaj Smokes a Sherlock Holmes Pipe"

The Madonna Vaginalogues

In honor of Madonna's birfday month (she's 51, her cheeks are turning 2, and her arms are about 95), I've joined forces with JOE to Hell and The Lisp to honor her appropriately. I'm providing the Madoodles and the boys have compiled the ultimate mixtape chock full of unreleased demos and rarities, fan faves, tour studio sessions, and unofficial remixes. Get 'em while they're hawt.

Download: The Madonna Vaginalogues Volume 4

Download: The Madonna Vaginalogues Volume 3

Download: The Madonna Vaginalogues Volume 2

Download: The Madonna Vaginalogues Volume 1

She's BAAAAAACK!

In honor of Madonna's birfday month (she's turning 51, her cheeks are turning 2, and her arms are about 95), I've joined forces with JOE to Hell and The Lisp to honor her appropriately. I'm providing the MaDoodles and they're compiling the ultimate mix tape of unreleased demos and rarities, fan faves, tour studio sessions and amazing unofficial remixes like you've never seen before in one spot. Download The Madonna Vaginalogues part 1 and The Madonna Vaginalogues part 2 today and get into the groove already.

Also, Madonna's got a new single out: Celebration. I give it a 7 out of 10 Gaultier cone tits. Major points off for rhyming "hesitation" and "celebration". LAZY MADONNA. At least it doesn't have "waiting" and "hesitating" "anticipating" and clock sounds in it. I don't like the tacky Oakenfold synths in the single version either. Other than that, it's a joyous, clubby, return to the old fun Madonna of yore with the spoken word-laugh bridge and a "transcendence on the dance floor theme". I like the Benny Benassi Radio Remix over at Hardcandy Music way better cuz it strips out that 90's circuit party sound and has a big fat drum beat that will make you cream your panties.

CLICK IT, DON'T LICK IT:

MaDonna Summer The Gentlemen Thieves have mashed up Madonna and Donna Summer to perfection. The song titles alone get a big gold star from me: I Feel Like a Virgin, What It Feels Like for A Bad Girl, and my fave, Frozen Stuff. Brilliant!

Michael Jackson is Over Capacity

*sigh*
I wasn't going to post a 'tribute' to Michael Jackson since I still can't believe that he's actually gone, but this illustration is just too cute, so I decided to just reminisce a little bit.

Have you seen this version of Twitter's "Fail Whale" featuring Michael Jackson?

Michael Jackson is Over Capacity

...and I just came across this. Who remembers when Madonna sampled Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" during her 'Like a Virgin' Tour back in 1985? {The "Billie Jean" sample is around 2:36 in the video.}




It all brings back so many memories of being a child growing up in the 70s and 80's. I got to experience the Jackson5 as well as Michael Jackson. I personally feel so fortunate to have grown up in the 80's since it was a decade of such individuality, unlike now.

"Billie Jean" {the MJ version} was the first video that I actually remember from when Mtv first came on air. ...And who could ever forget when he first did the 'moonwalk'? We were all just in awe!



Obviously, I'm affected that an icon from my childhood has passed...as everyone is. I think it's because it's a reality check...reminding us of our own mortality. Michael was a talent who kept us all entertained, whether it was with his talent or his personal drama. It all seems too unreal that his talent is gone. *sniff sniff*
p.s. Mikiep is still convinced that this is part of a what will be the largest publicity stunt ever and that MJ will be with us again in about a week or two.

We doubt it, but we can only hope...

xxx

Pretty Things...Madonna for Louis Vuitton

Apparently a new image from the Louis Vuitton Autumn/Winter 2009-10 campaign has been leaked online...and we LOVE it!

Although not yet confirmed as part of the new campaign, this image featuring Madonna wearing a pair of the sweet bunny ears she rocked at last month's MET Gala, is said to be one of several taken by photographer Steven Meisel for the company's newest advertisements.

These images have a different vibe from their previous Spring campaign, with soft, colourful photographs that have been digitally enhanced with colorizing effects and photoshopped to perfection!

New images will be released for the upcoming August 2009 fashion magazines worldwide...on newsstands next month.

Separated at Birf: Madonna and the Guanajuato Mummy

Check out all of my Madonna doodles here.

Hot Right NOW...

Here's what's hot right now in the Dirty Pretty Things shoppe...
And, buyers receive a FREE GIFT and take 10% off any of these items if you mention this feature on my blog at checkout. ❤

{ { Prints and Mini Prints... } }

Shown, Clockwise from Top Left...

• Where's The Party {Madonna} Giclee Print
• The Sweet Escape {Gwen Stefani} Giclee Print
• Vivienne in the Graveyard Giclee Print
• Chop Siouxsie Giclee Print

{ { Cute -n- Naughty Greeting Cards... } }

shown above...

• Can I Play With Your...Banana Greeting Card

{ { Super Yummy Soy Candles... } }

shown above, L to R...

• Ginger Spice Soy Candle, 12 oz
• Sugar Kiss Soy Candle, 12 oz.
• Bavarian Chocolate Mint Soy Candle, 12 oz.

❤ BUYERS: Wait for revised invoice before you pay or convo me to correct & reserve your listing beforehand. Also, be sure to check out the featured items in my shop as they are 20% off this week only. This offer expires on March 31st!

Did A-Rod Succumb to the Curse of Madonna?

via Vanity Fair
In just the past eight months, A-Rod has gone from “the greatest player in baseball” to a divorced, betrayed, confessed A-Hole. Is it a coincidence that this spectacular fall from grace coincided so neatly with his rumored romantic liaison with Madonna?
We think not. Just ask Sean Penn, Warren Beatty, or Guy Ritchie, who made the career-threatening stinkers Shanghai Surprise, Dick Tracy, and Swept Away (respectively) during their relationships with Madonna.
Continue reading at Vanity Fair here…

Guy's Dad Disses Madge

Guy Ritchie's pappy can't keep from flapping his gums where his trampy ex-daughter in-law, Madonna, is concerned. I find it more amusing if you read it out loud with Grandpa Simpson's voice when you read his quotes:

Madonna and Guy Ritchie's split may have looked ugly, but Guy's dad, John, tells In Touch that filing for divorce last October was a smart move. "The worst thing would be if they reconciled," John says.

"Guy is better off. He's in the States with the children at the moment." John notes that his former daughter-in-law is also moving on just fine. "She's been here with a chap, a friend of hers," he says. "We hope she does have a lot of boyfriends because it means she won't ever get back together with Guy!"

And, despite reports that the exes were fighting over their kids, Rocco, 8, and David, 3, Guy's father says they've worked it out. "There are no big arguments between them. All they discuss is the children," he says. "Guy is generally quite happy with the arrangements, provided the children come to London when he wants them to. If she makes that difficult, he will have to rethink how they are managing custody, but so far she hasn't." Madonna is reportedly dating other men. "Guy doesn't care at all," says his dad. "At least she won't be looking for him."

MAAATTTLOOOOCK!

Via The Huffington Post.

Video Whore: An Intimate Moment Between Madonna and Lourdes

A midget in Frida Kahlo/schoolgirl drag playing Lourdes? Genius. And the actress playing Madge really nails the accent perfectly. Beyond brilliant.



VIA JOE

Madonna Opened for The Smiths?

Anyone who knows me at all has witnessed my devotion to both Madonna and Morrissey with equal fervor and adoration. It may seem like an odd combination, but hear me out.

Picture it. 1984. I hear How Soon is Now on the radio and it blows my mind. Two years later I'm lucky enough to see The Smiths live on their Queen is Dead tour when they performed at the Fox Theater in Detroit. Until that evening, I'd never experienced the spectacle of legions of men, women, and children storming the stage to hug the lead singer of a band. A year later they broke up, and I've seen solo Moz countless times ever since, my favorite being his stellar performance at Radio City Music Hall a few years back. As for Madonna, I liked her right from the start with her surreal new wave video for Burning Up. But it wasn't until she short-circuited my teenaged brain by writhing her way through Like a Virgin during the first MTV Music Video Awards that I was pretty much hooked. I've seen every tour from Blond Ambition right up to Sticky and Sweet last fall.

Anyway, I never imagined there was an intersection of both of my obsessions (anywhere other than in my own imagination) until the legendary Johnny Marr recently confirmed it. Watch him tell the tale of how Madge opened for The Smiths on New Years Eve 1983 at the Danceteria. Who would have thunk it? With that charmingly bizarre revelation let me wish everybody a Happy New Year!

How Soon Is Now:


Burning Up:

Madonna - New Music - More Music Videos

M-Rod is on Team Obama

Sticky and Sweet

I caught the soon-to-be former Mrs. Ritchie's little show at Madison Square Garden last week. I thoroughly enjoyed it, but I didn't think it was quite on par with the 2006 Confessions Tour or the 2004 Reinvention Tour. This one was almost minimal in comparison, with all of the visuals happening on giant video screens atop a black stage. Most of her wardrobe was black as well (with splashes of color). No major stage sets or props except for the tricked out Bentley convertible. Nothing as eye popping as the Jump jungle gym or Like a Virgin spinning stripper pole/carousel or the giant disco ball. But she was certainly in fine form vocally and physically, jumping rope, grabbing her moose hoof, and writhing around like the Madonna of yore. Of course the crowd went nuts when she dissed Sarah Palin. And I'd be thrilled if she would put the guitar down already. It's a bore. Overall, I'd give the whole Sticky and Sweet dog and pony show a B+. Go see it while you still can.

Good Riddance, Dick.

I'm sure you've all heard the sad-ish news that Madonna is finally kicking Guy Ritchie to the curb. I don't know what took her so long. I give her major credit for really trying to make it work with this one. She had his baby, moved to England, used words like "gobsmacked" and "pub" with alarming frequency, exercised every last fat cell out of her body until it was a sinewy mass of muscle tissue, bulging veins, and grizzle, and even attempted to downplay her legendary iconic status to simply be "Mrs. Ritchie" as best as she could. As if. I can't think of anything more thrilling than the prospect of a single on-the-prowl cougar Madonna slutting it up like in the good old days. She's probably been bumping Kabbalah strings with A-Rod for months anyway. Welcome back, Ms. Ciccone. I've missed you.

Take a gander at all of my Vadge related doodles here.

OMG Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone Penn Ritchie is 50 Today!

You know I'm all about recycling and being green (cough cough), so I'm recycling this Madonna as Sally O'Malley doodle from March. I can't believe she's half a century old today. And I'm horrified that I haven't had time to do a fresh doodle, but I've been a busy beaver, kids. Let's put on some classic Madge tunes (or download my blog buddy KjAM's epic Madonna Mixes here and here), cinch up that bustier, and take a trip down memory lane to revisit some of my favorite Madge flavored doodles (click the headline to read the full original post):

Madonna Supports Hillary for President

Exquisite Corpse

(A collaboration with Gallery of the Absurd and Pretty on the Outside)

I Love Madonna (Even Her Chest Hair)

No More Waiting or Hesitating. I Need My Hard Candy NOW!

Like a Doodle

Oh, Brother.

Too Mean?

Too Mean?

Oh, Brother.

Yeah, I'm reading Christopher Ciccone's somewhat juicy memoir Life with My Sister Madonna and I have to say it's not the Sister Dearest hatchet job I was expecting. It doesn't hold much of interest for the casual Madonnaphile, but for the obsessed among us, it packs a nifty treasure trove of intimate details and anecdotes. The most titillating portions have been excerpted all over the place, but I prefer reading the odd tidbits of personal history, like the fact that Madonna took Chris to his first gay bar when he was in high school. Or that she suffers from insomnia and loves to eat popcorn. Or that he caught Warren Beatty snooping in Madonna's trash at two in the morning. These are the things I need to know, dammit.

Check out all of my Madonna flavored doodles here.

Like a Doodle

I just found out that two of my Madge flavored masterpieces are going to be exhibited at the Dial 'M' for Madonna show at the fab World of Wonder Storefront Gallery on May 23 in Los Angeles. The first one is titled The Madonna Face Project (see above). It's a 16 piece series of 8"x 10" ink on paper illustrations loosely based on both classic and rare photos of The Queen. The second is my Hard Candy doodle from last month which gently critiques her overuse of the lyrics "waiting, hesitating, and anticipating." I helpfully suggest an array of other words that rhyme with waiting. I'd love it if she managed to work "carbon dating" or "metal plating" into her next smash hit pop song. I'm not sure if I'll be able to attend the opening, which is a shame because I love L.A. and I'm sure it's going to be a total scene. Poo. I will be attending the opening! I just bought my ticket. Yay!

Here are the deets:

Toward the end of May the "depARTed" show will have departed from the World of Wonder Storefront Gallery and been replaced by Madonna (as most things are). "Dial M for Madonna," curated by James St James and Steven Corfe and opening with a gala reception on May 23, is a 40-artist-strong group show of all things Madge, from a conical bra made entirely of chocolate to a photograph of the Village Voice’s Michael Musto spoofing Madonna’s Sex book, “standing naked in a Jersey street with nothing but a wig and a cig to distract from my painfully tucked penis.” Opening night will also feature a video tribute to the late great 400lb Madonna impersonator, Queerdonna. You'll want to mark the date on your calendar or iCal and be there, because the Storefront receptions usually are the shizznit. It's already getting press.

No More Waiting or Hesitating. I Need My Hard Candy NOW!

I'm a die hard, true blue, dyed in the wool, ecstatic, worshipful Madonna fan. Even though she's rhymed "waiting" and "hesitating" and "anticipating" in far too many songs over the years, I don't care. I've included several other words that rhyme with "waiting" in this doodle in case she wants to mix it up a little next time. Speaks in a fake British accent? Awesome! Makes me love her more. Can't act her way out of a paper bag? Buy me the dvd. I've always said she could simply fart into the microphone over a drum machine loop and I'd buy it. And the remixes. Thankfully, Hard Candy is way better than that! I listened to 30 second clips of all of the tracks on a weird German website last night (since removed) and they're all better than 4 Minutes to Save the World. I predict that the next single called Give It to Me is going to be a smash. The hypnotic trancy synthline made me tinkle, sent chills up my spine, and caused me to gyrate wildly while seated at my desk (yes, my back is feeling much better). And I'm thrilled to hear her singing in her nasally Michigan/Midwest upper register like in the good old days. Hard Candy comes out in the US on April 29, pre-order it here. Tick tock tick tock...

Here's a new message from Madge herself (if you listen closely you can here Give It to Me):


Check out all of my Madonna doodles here.