Am I the only person who noticed that Lindsay Lohan's (former) lawyer looks like Marla Gibbs?

If Jackée had been hired as her sassy co-council, this delusional, drug-addled moron probably wouldn't be facing 90 days in the slammer.

And since we're on the topic of doppelgängers, Judge Marsha looks just like Lily Tomlin. If she's not careful, little Lindsay is going to find her morning bump replaced with Skinny and Sweet (AKA Rid-O-Rat).

Posted via email from HELLywood

Dina Lohan: Cool Mom of the Year

I'm finally back from my much needed vacation (I went to the Bahamas and stayed at the swanky Cove at Atlantis) and I've been dying to doodle Dina, Lindsay, and Samantha. I can't count how many pictures I've seen this week of Linds and Sam swapping spit on Diddy's yacht, holding hands, and buying overpriced organic groceries together. You gotta hand it to Dina, though. She could catch those two love birds scissoring on a Papasan Chair and she wouldn't be phased in the least. Maybe she is a "cool mom" after all!

Doodle Whore wants to know what you think, dear reader. I happen to be a gay dude who loves lesbians and woman in general. However, I do not understand how hot chicks like Lindsay Lohan or Cynthia Nixon end up bumping clams with, shall we say, not so traditionally beautiful ladies who love ladies, if you catch my drift. In the gay world it would be analogous to, say, Mario Lopez turning homo for Bruce Bruce Vilanch. Seriously, I'm baffled. Explain this phenomenon to me please.

Dina Lohan: Pimp Momma of the Year

Since being green is all the rage, I'm recycling this doodle of Pimp Momma Dina from January. Not only is she still brassy, sassy, and orange, but she's been designated one of the Top 20 Long Island Mothers of Celebrities. She's being honored by Mangling Mingling Moms, a social networking organization for mothers. Lindsay must be so proud.

Since we're on the topic, let's not forget Britney and Jamie Lynn's Pimp Momma extraordinaire, Lynn Spears.

The Last Sitting...Again

In 1962, photographer Bert Stern shot a series of photos of Marilyn Monroe at the Hotel Bel-Air that have collectively come to be known as "The Last Sitting." The photographs are arguably the most famous images ever captured of America's most famous actress. Six weeks after she had posed, Monroe was found dead of an apparent barbiturate overdose.

◦ ○ ◦◦ ○ ◦

Fast forward forty-six years later:
Stern re-shoots these classic shots...with none other than Lindsay Lohan.

Ohhh, they are trying to relate Lindsay to Marilyn in so many ways to make it seem like this was a perfect match, but it just doesn't work.

Better to leave well enough alone...
Why redo something that was so beautifully done in it's original form?


Miss Marilyn is probably rolling over in her grave.

Lindsay in no way matches the beauty of Marilyn...not even close! At best these photos are bad knock-offs. Lindsay looks more like a hooker or drug addict caught in the act in most of them.

Also, her body doesn't even compare...Marilyn had a womanly hourglass figure and that creamy white smooth skin and wasn't covered in freckles. Marilyn just exuded sex. I don't feel that from Lindsay ever.

Stern said the project also grew out of his interest in “controversial women,” or “bad girls,” like “Britney, Paris, and Lindsay.” Monroe was, in a sense, the original tabloid queen.

I think Stern would have been better off shooting Lindsay for her first "sitting" with Playboy or Penthouse then, don't you think?

(all photos: New York Magazine)

Hayden Panettiere's Diabolical Plan Set in Motion

Location: Capri, Italy
Event: Fake Italian awards show created to get sexy American actresses to Capri
Goal: Destroy Lindsay Lohan

We've all seen the totally not surprising video of poor Linds chucking 6 months of rehab down the toilet:

I postulate that her falling off the wagon was no accident. It was a deliberate act of sabotage by fellow Capri Film Festival honoree Hayden Panettiere. She's determined to usurp Lindsay's once stellar career, golden hair, orange skin, right down to her signature peace sign flash. Can't you just see her casually sidling up to Lindsay throughout the evening saying, "Mmmmm. This is the best champagne I've ever had!" or "Hee hee. The bubbles tickle my nose." or "Come on, Linds. One sip can't hurt ya!"

I'm sure Hayden will be following in Ms. Lohan's footsteps in no time. See you in rehab next year, honey!

Its Hard Out Here for a Pimp Pt. 2: Dina Lohan

Brassy! Sassy! Orange! That's our Dina. She adores the spotlight and pimps her babies like nobody's business. Soon we'll all be able to see her stellar pimparenting techniques in action on her new "reality" show on E! Can't wait.

All I can say is this: RUN, ALI, RUN! It's not too late.