Location: Capri, Italy
Event: Fake Italian awards show created to get sexy American actresses to Capri
Goal: Destroy Lindsay Lohan
We've all seen the totally not surprising video of poor Linds chucking 6 months of rehab down the toilet:
I postulate that her falling off the wagon was no accident. It was a deliberate act of sabotage by fellow Capri Film Festival honoree Hayden Panettiere. She's determined to usurp Lindsay's once stellar career, golden hair, orange skin, right down to her signature peace sign flash. Can't you just see her casually sidling up to Lindsay throughout the evening saying, "Mmmmm. This is the best champagne I've ever had!" or "Hee hee. The bubbles tickle my nose." or "Come on, Linds. One sip can't hurt ya!"
I'm sure Hayden will be following in Ms. Lohan's footsteps in no time. See you in rehab next year, honey!
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