Prep Yourself

1. For those new to the RHNYC scene: please see Gawker's guide to the housewives. It's kind of harsh (and I know harsh, babies) and inaccurate (e.g. Jill's husband is in the fabric business, not carpet), but it's still entertaining:

Wine-faced and tired looking, Bethenny makes healthy "gourmet" food for people and tries to fashion herself into some sort of Uptown wiseacre Martha Stewart. Honestly, Bethenny isn't all that bad. That is when she isn't crowing about her "SkinnyGirl Margaritas" (tequila and a lime spritz) or saying "Oh no she di'n't" in fake black girl cadences. This season look for more crowing about SkinnyGirl Margaritas and saying of "Oh no she di'n't" in fake black girl cadences.

I think this paragraph is going to cause Bethenny to drop another 10 pounds.

2. Those who watched last season can read Season 1's Reunion recap. You'll fall in love with Jill and Bethenny all over again, and your hatred of Ramoner, Alex and the Countess will be renewed with vigor.

3. SPEAKING OF THE COUNTESS, she took to her Bravo blog to write about her new etiquette book (yes, she's still going forward with it despite this and similar incidents) and she haughtily solicits any questions readers might have about manners.



I have a question! What do you do when the cover of your etiquette book almost shows your nipple? Get back to me on that, will you, LuAnn? This whole Class with the Countess business is ridiculous, and God bless those Bravo blog readers for calling that shit OUT in the comments:

I feel a gag coming up from my core. Is this why you exist? Emily Post is enough for me. I don't need a squirty "Countess" handing out advice on manners, of all things.

and

Does the counts previous 4 wives get to keep the "countess" title after a divorce?

Ha! "Squirty" is my new favorite word. If you want to see more razor-sharp zingers, believe me, there is no shortage--look here.


Enjoy the fireworks tonight, and meet me back here tomorrow!