No, no--it's all for the best

Apparently Bravo has selected its newest cast member for next season's Real Housewives of NYC. It's not me. I had to find this out through the popular media, which I thought was unfortunate (not to mention RUDE), but I have to say I'm totally relieved--I was going to withdraw my name anyway. As you know, I am a self-taught life coach and my practice is just starting to take off. Helping celebrities, especially reality stars, navigate the rough waters of life in "the biz" is not only my passion but my duty, and I need to devote all of my energy to that right now. I also have the Kanye class that I (hopefully) will be teaching at Harvard next month. Seriously, I won't even have time to brush my teeth this fall. There's no way I could manage a reality show as well.

(Does anyone else think that Jill might have felt threatened by me? I think she might have blackballed me. But it's FINE. Totally fine.)

Please join me in welcoming socialite Kelly Bensimon to the cast.

Congratulations, Kelly! You look really . . . intelligent, and even if this show can't satisfy your obvious deep-seated need for attention and fame, I'm sure you'll have fun hanging out with Ramoner.

Can't wait!

p.s. Jo and Slade's show debuts tonight on Bravo. Let's see how many of you have the balls to watch it!