Exciting news everyone! I'm packing up my earthly belongings and heading to Manhattan to pursue my dream as a Real Housewife of NYC. The show's producers are looking for a new cast member who is a "high rolling social butterfly juggling the ups and downs of family life along with a high-powered career and a social calendar to die for." Can you believe it?! THAT'S TOTALLY ME (minus the high-powered career and social calendar to die for part). I have already called the Real Housewives Hotline (so impressive--the woman on the recording has a classy English accent) and am just waiting for a call back. I am brimming with confidence; I am so perfect for this show!
To the Real Housewives of NYC producers: You won't regret it! I have all sorts of stunts ready to go--for example, I will demand to be called "Princess" (LuAnn will lose her shit) and I will try to seduce Simon (if that doesn't work, I will have my husband try to seduce Simon). I also promise to get into some sort of physical altercation with that skank Ramoner. I have much more in store but am keeping it under my hat until I am officially selected.
To Jill and Bethenny: Mama's coming, girls! Can't wait to meet you in person and have you show me the ropes in Manhattan society. Bethenny, my kids and I are going to stay at your place during try-outs if that's okay. I can't wait for you to cook for us!
To rest of you--thank you so much for your support. I will fly you all out to my new house in the Hamptons for the Season 2 finale. Cristal and "Team SGM" shirts for everyone!
Be sure to catch the RHNYC "Lost Footage" episode on May 27 (thanks to Brilliant Asylum for the tip-off).
Ciao, my dears!
Thanks to www.marcelafae.com for the "NYC or bust" photo.
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