April 3 is Unacceptable

[SGM, in a bikini top and cut-offs, screaming drunkenly in a Jersey accent]

"Listen up, you NBC mother-[bleepers]! I had to find out through a [bleeping] commercial that my regular Thursday night line-up won't [bleeping] resume until April 3? What a bunch of [bleeping bleeps]! Who's in control, you or the [bleeping] writers who [bleep] your tranny asses every night? April 3 ain't doing it for me, o-[bleeping]-kay? If I don't get some real [bleeping] tv soon, I will beat your [bleeping bleep] so hard that you will be begging me to let you clean the [bleeping] toilets on the set of Flavor of Love 3."*


*Note to NBC: This is what happens when real tv shows are taken away and one has no choice but to watch reality tv all of the time. I learned how to do some serious incoherent trash-talking, binge drinking and boobie-flashing while you sat around in your cushy offices "negotiating." You have created this monster, and if The Office and 30 Rock do not resume by March 13, I will come to your offices and go white-trash nutty on all y'all.

As Vanessa from A Shot at Love (pictured above) said during an interview in Episode 5, "just [bleeping] respect me" (I know I bashed this show previously, but I needed to make a point about gross reality tv and nothing is more gross (grosser?) than A Shot at Love).