Spencer and Heidi are Richer Than You

I have to be honest. The longer Speidi remains a part of the public landscape, the more I like them. They're vile, craven, famewhores who'll debase themselves on TV and in tabloids for money and attention and I find it fascinating. In theater-speak it's known as "staying in the moment" and they're 110% committed to being total assholes all of the time. I kind of respect that. And they've allegedly parlayed their notoriety as pseudo-celebrity tools into $3 million over the last couple of years. How does that make you feel?

The Hills Deconstructed: Attack of the Two-Headed Prattzilla

Yes, I know it's all fake, but I DON'T CARE. I'm loving the addition of Spencer's evil twin, Stephanie, as the long lost nasty Nelly Olsen of L.A. hell-bent on rattling Lauren's figurative pig tails. This is just what the show needed: double the obnoxiousness, pettiness, and pompous douche baggery. What kind of parents would produce such rotten offspring? They're like the bastard love children of Donald Trump and Ann Coulter: blond haired, blue eyed windbags who won't shut up no matter how much you ignore them. I see a future on Fox News for both of them someday.

Doodle Whore wants to know what YOU think, dear reader. What do you think the big twist is that MTV keeps teasing for the finale?

The Hills Deconstructed: Spencer's sorrow

How delicious was it to watch Spencer's little heart and bloated ego shatter into itty bitty pieces on The Hills tonight? He's unemployed, he lost his best bro, dreamy, bedimpled Brody to Lauren, and now he's losing his betrothed ho to her burgeoning career at Bolthouse. Cue Nelson from The Simpsons: "HA HA!"

Doodle Whore wants to know what YOU think, dear reader. Even though Spencer is a manipulative, passive aggressive, opportunistic douche, don't you feel just a tiny bit sorry for him?