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"My hair is severe, my ill-fitting dress is Jessica McClintock c. 1992, and I have no accessories except for one boring-ass ring.
DEFINITELY. NOT. BANANAS."

1. Rachel Zoe, what the hell is going on? (thanks to tipster Halbizures.)

2. Are you watching Top Chef? Is anyone not on Team Carla? I loved her from the moment that she said she knew her restaurant wars dessert was fucked, so she just sent it out "with looooooove." Tom gave her his jaded eyeroll, but I thought it was pretty awesome. Carla, if you ever want to cook for me, PLEASE CALL ME. I can promise you that I will not invite those OC whores over for an "etiquette party."

3.

"Jeana, stop telling her that lipgloss is fattening!"

Speaking of those OC whores, we have another jaw-dropping double-header with the Real Housewives tonight! The Orange County reunion is up first, followed by the second episode of NYC. To whet your appetite: remember the preview clip of Countess Nastypants rudely snatching the microphone at some sort of fancy event? That episode airs tonight--watch the scene in its entirety here:



So gracious and demure! (Contingent upon "gracious" and "demure" being re-defined as "pretentious" and "asshole-y.")

See you sweet bitches tomorrow.


Photo of Debra "this-shuts-nothing-down" Messing via the magnificent TLo.