From the desk of SGM

Dear Samantha Ronson,

You are not a 16 year old street thug.

The jig is up, sugartits. Now please stop trying to ruin every single photo you've ever been in.

Love,

SGM

P.S. That face will give you wrinkles.

photo of Sam and Charlotte Ronson (did you know they are twins?!) is from here, of course

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Dear Keri Russell,

You are so beautiful. Plus you seem somewhat normal.

But I would not hesitate to murder you and dump your body in the woods if it meant I could have this outfit.

Love,

SGM

photo from InStyle January 2009